Martin Lampen is thirty-two years old. And in every one of his thirty-two years of living and dining in Britain, he hasn't eaten a single truly great meal. Is it linked to the fact that we Brits regard any artificial drink with pineapple flavouring as 'tropical'? Could it be something to do with our penchant for crinkle-cut crisps? And just why are British breadcrumbs yellow? This is a hilarious, nostalgic and irreverent look at British cuisine past and present in all its flavourless, stodgy splendour, and an indispensable A-Z guide to the not-so-wondrous world of British cuisine. All the joys and tragedies are in here, from buffet cars and boil-in-the-bag gammon supreme to white wine sauce and Wagon Wheels.