Although having Asperger Syndrome (AS) can make romantic relations difficult, having a fulfilling relationship with an Asperger man is certainly not impossible. A woman in love with a man with AS may interpret his difficulties with communication and socialization as a lack of interest in the relationship. He may vacillate between being gentle and caring to seeming cold and distant. She may find his behaviour hard to understand, resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation, and confusion. This book shows how to overcome these difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner.
From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfillment both individually and as a couple.
This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where the male partner has Asperger's Syndrome.
Rudy Simone is a writer and Asperger's Syndrome educator who lives in Western New York.
Introduction. 1. There will be loneliness. 2. There will probably be no public displays of affection. 3. Labels and romantic expectations make him feel nervous. 4. He will take you and the relationship for granted. 5. He may have a more patient approach to sex than you do. 6. Communication will always be a challenge. 7. There will be shock. 8. Your man may not be there for you in a crisis. 9. Many AS males can be cranky, have bad tempers and can explode at the slightest of things. 10. Your man may have a hard time completing a college degree, holding on to a job or seeing things through. 11. He may get depressed and/or completely inert for long periods of time. 12. There will be times he embarrasses you. 13. Your family and friends may think you're being a doormat and a fool. 14. People will tell you he's just being a man. 15. You must have a good social support network, so you can go out and have fun once in a while. 16. Your AS male will not care about the things you do without him and there will be things he does not share with you. 17. Time holds a different meaning for him than it does for you. 18. He will probably want to sleep on the couch starting very early in the relationship and continuing throughout. 19. You will never change him, even if you can succeed in getting him to change his behaviour. 20. Even if he loves you and values your relationship, it is possible you may never get a commitment. 21. Many AS/NT relationships go through various metamorphoses. 22. Your relationship will stand a much better chance if your man will REACH. Questions to ask yourself. Glossary of Terms. Recommended reading and resources. References.