Tucker Max is an asshole. He drinks to excess at inappropriate times, disregards social norms, indulges every whim, takes no responsibility for his actions, rebels against any authority, mocks idiots and posers, sleeps with more women than is safe or reasonable and generally just acts like a raging dickhead. He shares his experiences with millions of fans on his website, tuckermax.com."Assholes Finish First" contains twenty-five of the most gut-bustingly hilarious, morally offensive and degrading stories you will ever read in your life, including: Girl Goes on The Tucker Max Diet - Tucker gets a girl to go on a diet by systematically breaking her down and destroying her self-esteem; Tucker and Friends Make First Foray into Real Crime - The story of how Tucker and his friends tried to steal a beer truck, and failed miserably; Tucker Goes to a Muslim Wedding, Drinks Anyway - Does this really need explaining?;
Tucker Uses Child Labor to Get A Date; The Capitol City Clown Crawl - The story of how Tucker and 50 of his closest friends dressed up as clowns and went on a bar crawl in Austin, Texas (complete with authentic Travis County mugshot of Tucker Max); The Infamous Miss Vermont Story - This is too outrageous to print on the back.These stories are 100 percent gross, 100 percent true, and 100 percent never before seen anywhere. You will lose all respect for women and the law. You have been warned.