Harry and Max weren't satisfied with their first attempt at parenthood, so they're giving it a second go.
Only this time they've got a 30-day money back guarantee and an easy-to-follow construction manual.
They're certain, as long as they follow it step-by-step, he's going to be perfect.
Thomas Eccleshare is a writer, performer and theatre-maker trained at the Jacques Lecoq School. He is the co-artistic director of award-winning visual theatre company Dancing Brick. As a playwright he has won the Verity Bargate Award and the Catherine Johnson Award.