The first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do any thing is getting them to hear you out. Whether the person is a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades. Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, and backed by the latest scientific research, author Mark Goulston shares simple but power ful techniques readers can use to really get through to people-whether they're coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies.Getting through is a fine art but a critical one. With the help of this groundbreaking book readers will be able to turn the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends.
Mark Goulston is a psychiatrist, business consultant, executive coach, and FBI and police hostage negotiation trainer. A bestselling author whose books include Get Out of Your Own Way and Get Out of Your Own Way at Work, he writes a column on leadership for Fast Company and "Solve Anything with Dr. Mark" for Tribune Media Services, and is frequently called upon to share his expertise by the media including the Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Reuters, NPR, CNN, Fox News, and the Oprah and TODAY shows.
CONTENTS Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi xv Acknowledgments xvii SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone 1 Who's Holding YOU Hostage? 2 A Little Science: How the Brain Goes from "No" to "Yes" SECTION II The Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone 25 3 Move Yourself from "Oh F#@& to OK" 4 Rewire Yourself to Listen 5 Make the Other Person Feel "Felt" 6 Be More Interested Than Interesting 7 Make People Feel Valuable 8 Help People to Exhale Emotionally and Mentally 9 Check Your Dissonance at the Door 10 When All Seems Lost-Bare Your Neck 11 Steer Clear of Toxic People SECTION III 12 Quick and Easy Ways to Achieve Buy-In and Get Through 12 The Impossibility Question 13 The Magic Paradox 14 The Empathy Jolt 15 The Reverse Play, Empathy Jolt #2 16 "Do You Really Believe That?" 17 The Power of "Hmmm . . ." 18 The Stipulation Gambit 19 From Transaction to Transformation 20 Side by Side 21 Fill in the Blanks 22 Take It All the Way to "No" 23 The Power Thank You and Power Apology SECTION IV Putting It All Together: Fast Fixes for Seven Challenging Situations 24 The Team from Hell 25 Climbing the Ladder 26 The Narcissist at the Table 27 Stranger in Town 28 The Human Explosion 29 Getting Through to Yourself 30 Six Degrees of Separation Afterword Index About the Author Keynotes/Workshops