You may now expect a dirty weekend to involve nothing more exciting than cleaning out the garden shed, and you may find yourself being snubbed even by high-street canvassers.
On the bright side, you can take delight in the fact that you will never again have to force yourself into groaningly tight fashion jeans - or pretend to like tequila slammers.
Mike Haskins is a comedy writer for TV and radio. He has written for Steve Coogan, Simon Pegg, Alistair McGowan, Monkey Dust, Smack the Pony, Punt and Dennis' It's Been a Bad Week and Dead Ringers and has worked closely with Griff Rhys Jones on Smith and Jones, amongst others. Clive Wichelow is a journalist and comedy writer. He has written for Rory Bremner, Jonathan Ross, Spitting Image and many others as well as for The Mail on Sunday, the Daily Express and the Daily Mirror. Andy Hammond has been a successful cartoonist for over 20 years and has produced illustrations for Mars, the National Lottery, Tetley Tea and Disney UK.