What's wrong with being a "people pleaser?" Plenty!
"A fascinating book... If you struggle with where, when, and how to draw the line between your own desires and the demands of others, buy this book!"--Kay Redfield Jamison, bestselling author of An Unquiet Mind and Night Falls Fast
People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.
Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent "Oprah" guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.
Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.
As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.
Harriet B. Braiker Ph.D. was a bestselling author and practiced clinical psychologist and management consultant in Los Angeles. She was the author of several, highly successful popular psychology books.
Introduction Chapter 1: The Disease to Please Triangle: The Price of Nice Part One: People-Pleasing Mindsets Chapter 2: Toxic Thoughts Chapter 3: It's Okay Not to Be Nice Chapter 4: Putting Others First Chapter 5: There's More to You Than How Much You Do Chapter 6: Nice People Can Say "No" Part Two: People-Pleasing Habits Chapter 7: Learning to Please: Approval Addiction Chapter 8:Why Can't You Get Your Parents' Approval? Chapter 9: Love at All Costs Chapter 10: Romantic Addiction Part Three: People-Pleasing Feelings Chapter 11: Once More,Without Feelings Chapter 12: The Fear of Anger Chapter 13:Words Can Really Hurt You Chapter 14: How Far Would You Go to Avoid a Confrontation? Chapter 15: Small Steps, Big Changes The 21-Day Action Plan for Curing the Disease to Please A User's Guide to the 21-Day Action Plan Day 1: Don't Say "Yes"When You Want to Say "No" Day 2: The Broken Record Technique Day 3: The Counteroffer Day 4:What to Say If You Want to Say "No": The SandwichTechnique Day 5: The Reverse Sandwich Technique Day 6: Rewriting the Ten Commandments of People-Pleasing Day 7: Rewriting the Seven Deadly Shoulds Day 8: Taking Care of You Day 9: Talking Yourself Out of Approval Addiction Day 10: To Do or Not to Do, That Is the Question Day 11: Tag, You're It Day 12: It's Okay Not to Be Nice Day 13: The Anger Scale Day 14: The Relaxation Breath Day 15: Anger-Up Day 16: Anger-Down Day 17: TIME OUT Day 18: Stress Inoculation Day 19: Solve a Problem with a Friend, Not for a Friend Day 20: Correcting Faulty Assumptions Day 21: Celebrate Your Cure Epilogue: Some Final Thoughts